by Dillon Weickum
Who is Bull Market?
Don't you mean, "What is Bull Market?" We're an ever-growing investment firm. You want to talk asset allocation? We've got you covered. Interested in index funds? Sure, we'll point you in the right direction. You want to INVEST??? That's what we're here for.
Did either of you go to business school? Where did the investment gimmick come from?
Gimmick? You think this is a gimmick? Did you ever enroll IN an interview school? I'm guessing not...
Best and worst house show experience?
Our smaller seminars have been nothing but profitable. Dividends baby... dividends... Missoula house shows have been produced a surplus of fun, and that's no BULL. We presented to a packed house (standing room only) at the revamped Eel Pit recently… and we’re lucky enough to hold a consultation at our partner’s, Mr. Reddinger, new place. Both had high returns.
We're a firm believer in them. If you’re in the MARKET for tacos that continuously yield great results, we suggest Taco Montes.
Nels, is it weird seeing former students at shows?
TODAY, we would consider all of the people who attend our shows to be students/clients of some sort... so in that case, it would be strange not to see our clients over and over again (and we do).
What can those who have never seen Bull Market expect to experience at your live show?
You'll see that we have a fiduciary duty to our investors... and we shall not let them down. We suggest you wear ear protection, MOTHERFUCKERS. We can protect your assets from diminishing, but we will aim to destroy your cochlea.
Give me your best pro wrestling style promo for the show.
One stage… Two investment advisors… Three times the amount of financial advice that you’ve come to expect from your typical seminar… OR something along those lines.
Bonus Questions! (did you think we'd divid"end" there?):
Nels, tell us about your latest hair style?
I’m not here to talk about me, I’m here to focus on YOU and your portfolio.
Phil... plenty of investors you're close to have taken notice of your musk... care to explain?
It’s the smell of earnings… come to a seminar, and you WILL understand...
Last question: Is there any way for potential investors to give everything they value to Bull Market so they can the status of an ultra affluent partner, like so many at the firm?
Yes! Come to our Dreyfest seminar, PAY the small entrance fee, and get ready for a life of excess!