The League of Ordinary Derelicts
Matchup Previews
Week 8
The Commish finally got his ass together and has a little breakdown of the matchups this week. Lots of interesting games with big implications as we move into the midway point of the season. I also wanted to include our “Matchup of the Week” to highlight the biggest game of the week or the one I found most interesting. So, of course I had to choose Jake v Laura as it is the matchup of the magic. A Witch versus a Wizard?? Of course I’m choosing that one! Without further ado, let’s dive in!
Matchup of the Week
Jake (4-3, 3rd Mountain)
V
Laura (3-4, 3rd Pacific)
Well, well, well, it looks like this Wizard may be learning to fly after all. I gotta say I had my doubts on how he’d transition to the big leagues. But, Jake has found himself in the midst of a little 3 game winning streak despite a good but very thin roster. And what a very magical matchup he has this week taking on our other resident magic maker, The Rogue Witch. Laura started the season just awfully. So putrid. But, she might be brewing up something good now as she has won 3 out of her last 4 games. Her roster has been oh so injured, but it’s all about timing with injuries in these lands. Whose magic will run out first? Witch versus Wizard! Who shall reign supreme???
Chris (6-1, 1st Mountain)
V
Josh (2-5, 4th Pacific)
Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum with this matchup here. Chris is our top ranked team in the league and his team is red hot right now. This might be his most dangerous team yet, and the possibilities are terrifying. And, Josh, well, Josh is a sad little dried pile of shit, a shell of his former self (am I saying his former self is a wet piece of shit? Not sure, but I liked the metaphor). Josh is staring down not making the playoffs for the first time ever, which is oh so tasty because of his past snide comments stating, “everyone makes the playoffs in this league”. *Insert Josh’s snidey scrunched up face* I usually always root for my arch rival Chris to choke, but I also do so love me some pipin hot karma.
Scott (5-2, 2nd Mountain)
V
Nam (4-3, 2nd Pacific)
The Champ versus the Chump in this one. And, by chump, I mean he always plays just well enough to make the playoffs and maybe go on a little run before destiny inevitably rears its head. Always a fantasy football bridesmaid but never the fantasy football bride. Was chump a little harsh? Maybe… Now I feel bad. Ok, I’m sorry Nam, you’re not a chump. But the bridesmaid thing is true. Scott is currently on a little two game losing streak after starting the year undefeated, finally giving the rest of us some relief. Like, I was probably too happy watching him lose back to back weeks. This matchup is also a rematch of the championship game from two years ago, so it probably means a little more to Nam since he lost that game (please reference bridesmaid analogy above).
Jeremy (3-4, 4th Mountain)
V
Austin (5-2, 1st Pacific)
Mr. Krampus versus the rookie with an obsession for wiener dog buttholes. It’s ok rook, we are a little strange in our ways. Austin Krampus is currently leading the Pacific Division and once again putting the league on notice with his classic chaotic style of management. Damn, now that I look at his roster, this might be his least bizarre compilation of players yet. He’s got some fucking studs. This is not good guys… Jeremy has far underperformed for the squad he has. Come on dude, you have some absolute powerhouses and you’re below .500??? If he can figure out how to start the right players and maybe do some research, he might just survive yet. This will be a big test for the rookie against the chaos master.
The Commish (2-5, 5th Pacific)
V
Kyle (1-6, 5th Mountain)
Big matchup between the last two founding franchises in the league. Both of these former champions are currently at the bottom of the standings and rankings. They’ve had chances to win, but injuries and poorly managed rosters (not me, of course) have derailed their seasons. The Commish is currently on a 3 game losing streak while Kyle’s big ol jet airliner has nosedived to a 5 game losing streak. This really is a stinky toilet bowel, maybe the first true one of the season. This game might bye a preview of the losers bracket. But this is also the chance at new life. A single sprout of green pushing its way through the steaming pile of discarded waste. One win for either of these two could be life or death…