The League of Ordinary Derelicts
2024 Playoffs
Championship
The End is Here…
This is always one of the saddest times of the year for your Ol’ Commish. It is with such sweet sorrow that we welcome our final week of the season. A Champion will be crowned this weekend, but I will be without your daily nagging voices for the next few months. How will I survive??? This year was an absolute blast, one of my favorite years to date despite myself not making the playoffs. I can lose and still have fun, ok?!?!? Our two rookies owners both had epic first year seasons, and now they’ll be veterans next year. They grow up so fast… (Insert Commish’s teary eyed yet smiling face)
Ok, enough with the sob fest, let’s get down to business. This year we have a brand new trophy to bestow upon our winner, which will arrive after the championship so I can properly adorn the hardware. And! Champion will get those sweet and tasty draft and rules perks. Mmmmmmmmmmm. This last week will also determine all of our final standings and I’ll dive into that a little more below our championship preview.
Rematch of the Century
#7
Nam (9-8, 3rd Pacific)
V
#5
Scott (10-7, 3rd Mountain)
How did we end up here once more? It’s like Chiefs-49ers all over again. I hate that I’m referring to Scott as our league’s version of the Chiefs, but that’s the facts, and sometimes facts suck. This is the rematch that no one wanted. But, it’s a great matchup nonetheless. Nam and Scott met in the 2022 championship, which was Scott’s first title in his back-to-back run. Both of these squads have been on fire this postseason, scoring huge upsets each of the first two rounds. Scott continues his quest to tie former owner Marcus in most championships in league history at 3. This would also break his tie with the Commish for championships. Booooooooooooooooooooo. Nam is looking to break his playoff curse and finally sit atop the throne he thinks he deserves. There’s rumor he might rejoin the group chat if victorious. This is an exciting championship matchup as well because both teams have extremely high scoring potential with multiple 200 point explosions in the last few weeks. The previous time they met in this game it was only a slim 12 point difference in the end score, so hopefully more close drama is in store for our final week of football viewing pleasure.
All right, let’s talk the stakes. Winner take all. Brand spanking new trophy will be on its way shortly after the winner is declared. I will make sure everything looks good and take a few glory shots with it since I won twice before (just to cement that in your memories) and then send it off to the rightful owner for this year. A picture will be required with the trophy, so I can post it on the website in our postseason awards segment. The Champ also gets a hand in deciding the draft for the upcoming season, the last place punishment, and a Commissioner approved rule change(s). How exciting for you! If Scott wins again and threepeats, I’ll find something to sweeten the pot for his dominance over us.
The Commish’s prediction: I refuse to predict this time. My record sucks for predictions. We all know what I want. I also know this is my own segment and I could’ve just left this out, but I like to hear myself talk.
A Fight to the Finish
The rest of us may not be vying for a championship this week, but we all still have one battle left to determine our final standings. Your final position can have an affect on how the draft order is decided, so make sure to set that lineup! And, if you have any semblance of pride left, you’ll suit up that team one last time and leave it all on the field. And, for those two owners in the last place game, lose and a punishment you shall receive!
This year’s last place game features #9 Kyle who lost the last two games to stay at the bottom of the consolation ladder, and #4 Jeremy who dropped to the bottom of the ladder by being the lowest seed to lose last week in the consolation games. That’s why seeding matters so much in our playoffs! Lowest seed to lose each round is always at risk. And, it didn’t help Jeremy that his sister #8 Laura and #10 Commish both scored upsets last week to leave him as the lowest seed to lose. He is by the far the highest seed to be in the last place game since I can remember. Things happen fast in this league, rookie. I had championship expectations for this team to start the playoffs, and now he’s fighting for his little wiener dog life to not receive a big wiener dog punishment next year.
Here is the full list of placement games for this weekend:
3rd-4th: #1 Chris v #3 Josh
5th-6th: #6 Jake v #10 Commish
7th-8th: #2 Austin v #8 Laura
9th-10th: #4 Jeremy v #9 Kyle
Our two semifinalist losers Chris and Josh have some unfinished business with each other after failing to meet each other for the title but instead a top three finish. The Commish’s team showed up just in time this postseason to make his way up through the loser’s bracket as high as he could and now faces his Billings Boy rival The Wizard for Billings Boy supremacy. The Witch must once again face off against division rival Krampus Man in one last magical showdown. What a season, and what a final week my lovelies!
As always, may the odds be ever in your favor…