The League of Ordinary Derelicts

2025

Power Rankings

Week 12

WE ARE BACK. A fresh batch of rankings just popped out from the Commish’s noggin, and they’re ready to be digested. The top two spots, as suspected, remain the same. But, after that there is plenty of movement and controversy bubbling to the brim! How exciting! I don’t want to keep you all in bated breath for too long, so let’s dive right in…

#1

Jeremy (10-1, 1st Mountain)

PPG: 221.2

Top Player: Matthew Stafford QB LAR 31.0 PPG

10 wins in a row?!?!? What a storied season the sophomore from Wiener Dog U is having! He’s basically miles ahead of the rest of the Mountain Division, and gaining ground to lock up the number one overall seed. This is by far the team to beat heading into playoff season. Will Jeremy’s hot start lead to a cold end, or can he keep the flame burning all the way through a championship run???

#2

Josh (8-3, 1st Pacific)

PPG: 226.0

Top Player: Brock Bowers TE LV 30.4 PPG

Joshy GM is also having a season for the record books. A couple of off weeks hasn’t stopped this team from being the top scorers in the league all year long. He has officially clinched a playoff spot, and now his sights are set on the number one seed. A loss to the Commish a couple weeks ago wasn’t enough to derail his season (despite my best efforts). Only two games back from the lead, Josh’s high powered attack still has a shot at overtaking first place.

#3

Commish (6-5, 2nd Pacific)

PPG: 193.9

Top Player: Justin Herbert QB LAC 26.4 PPG

Ok, ok, ok, here’s our first bit of controversy I can see coming down the pipeline. But, let’s give the Commish his flowers! This team may be bottom of the pack in scoring, but it’s a beautifully balanced roster that has picked up some steam and won 5 of its last 7 games. This team might be peaking at the right time, and that should be concerning to you all. After last year’s disastrous season, the Commish is fully in the hunt for a third championship. BEWARE Muahahahaha

#4

Jake (6-5, 3rd Mountain)

PPG: 202.7

Top Player: Patrick Mahomes QB KC 30.3 PPG

I can already hear the Wizard’s complaints about being ranked below me because he defeated me in our first matchup. BUT, Jake’s team has hit a bit of a slump losing 3 out his last 5 games because he probably should’ve drafted a few less Buccaneers players. This squad has some potent scoring potential, but it also has been plagued recently with the dreaded INJURY BUG. And recency bias goes into my super complex algorithm. Sorry, bud. Also, FTC (google Brawl of the Wild for those of you who don’t know).

#5

Chris (6-5, 2nd Mountain)

PPG: 203.8

Top Player: Jonathan Taylor RB Ind 33.4 PPG

I can also already hear the complaints about the Shitheel’s ranking. But, his ass got swept this season by the Commish!!! So, sit down bitch, be humble. Jonathan Taylor and George Kittle might legitimately be 90% of his offense, but somehow he’s made it work enough to be in the hunt for a top 3 seed. This roster is a bit of sloppy shitfest, but we all know the Shitheel always has shitty some tricks up his shitty sleeves.

#6

Kyle (5-6, 4th Mountain)

PPG: 208.5

Top Player: Christian McCaffery RB SF 28.6 PPG

Kyle’s jets seem to have lost some momentum from a bout of early season success. He’s lost 3 of his last 4 and his scoring has been well below his average in those losses. That’s partly because his starting QB spots are Victor Frankensteined together every week in a horrifying display that should not be seen by a living human eye. But, his skill positions are so ridiculously good that I still have my radar on this squad for our dark horse of the playoffs. Also, FTC to you as well sir.

#7

Laura (3-8, 4th Pacific)

PPG: 216.0

Top Player: Josh Allen QB Buf 33.4 PPG

This is one of our biggest and most surprising jumps in the rankings. Momentum has seemingly finally caught up with the Witch at maybe the perfect time. After a disastrous 8 game losing streak, Laura finally secured a couple wins in a row in high scoring fashion. This team is top 3 in scoring, which is absurd for her win-loss record. But, the bad luck hasn’t stopped her from crawling back into a playoff spot. This team might end up being a haunted nightmare for us all…

#8

Austin (5-6, 3rd Pacific)

PPG: 195.7

Top Player: Jalen Hurts QB Phi 26.8 PPG

Krampus Magic has been a bit inconsistent this year for ol Krampus Man. A 3 game losing streak has really put the chaos into check a bit as he scrambles to gain some steady ground. This roster sports such a high Boom or Bust risk factor that I’m putting it on HIGH ALERT for a late season collapse. Usually I have faith in Austin’s chaos magic, but as of late I’m starting to have my doubts. As we head toward the playoffs, will he be able to tap into the well of Krampus Magic once more?…

#9

Scott (3-8, 5th Mountain)

PPG: 187.1

Top Player: Trey McBride TE Ari 37.1 PPG

The fall of a dynasty can be a beautiful thing. At least in this case it is. Our three-time reigning champ is currently out in the cold looking in through a frosted window at the cozy playoff hut. Scott has lost 6 of his last 7 games and he’s only reached the 200 point mark twice all year. Look, I wanted him to lose his crown badly, but to have be in this way is oh so tasty. This brings back memories of the good ol days when Scott first started this league and could barely assemble a roster. Let’s keep it rolling! DOWN WITH THE CHAMP.

#10

Nam (3-8, 5th Pacific)

PPG: 172.5

Top Player: Brock Purdy QB SF 28.3 PPG

This might be one of the worst championship game loss hangovers we’ve ever witnessed in league history. Nam has lost a staggering 8 of his last 9 games after starting the year 2-0. And when he loses, it’s BIG. As big as that giant fucking dog in his logo. This roster in theory isn’t terrible, but it’s been absolutely decimated by injury as well. Right now, he’s somehow tied with two other teams for the last playoff spot. Maybe he can rally??? I wouldn’t bet actual money on it, but crazy shit happens all the time buddy.

Who will reign supreme this week and boost their ranking??? Who will fall??? Only the football gods know. May the odds be ever in your favor…