The League of Ordinary Derelicts

2025

Playoffs

Championship

The Streak is Over

Happiest of New Years my faithful following! It is with great joy and tears in my eyes that I get to write these words. SCOTT’S CHAMPIONSHIP STREAK HAS FINALLY ENDED. And, boy did it end in cinematic and controversial fashion. Josh and Scott finished their semifinal bout in a tie last week, which is the first tie in a playoff matchup in league history. Well, as we all know, ties in the regular season are decided by bench points. So, because Scott had way more bench points, naturally I assumed the worst and dealt with my sorrow before laying my exhausted head into slumber. But, the dawn brought the ol’ Commish new light…

A forgotten rule was to be the savior from another year of Scott’s reign. Because a tie had never happened in the playoffs before, the Commish’s own wild schemings in setting up this league had escaped him. Longtime league member and keeper of random league knowledge, Christopher Shitheel Tsekouras, helped jog my memory as to the playoff tiebreaker rule we had set in stone eons ago. In the result of a tie in the playoffs, the win goes to the higher seed as opposed to most bench points. This was to incentivize and reward teams for obtaining a higher seed and making sure there was always competitive action at the end of the regular season for seeding matchups.

I know there were some protests and concerns raised (solely by Scott, oh jeez I wonder why???), but that is the final result. To keep competitive fairness alive I will not change a rule retroactively during the season despite a lack of remembrance for said rule. Even if we knew the rule ahead of time, that’s still Scott’s fault for being a low seed because he was shitty in the regular season. SUCK IT. And, a huge congrats to Josh for doing what no one else could the last four years! Ok, ok, ok, I need to also give Scotty boy his dues on one of the most incredible runs of fantasy football. Three championships in a row, and oh so close to a fourth. Good job, bud. It was only fitting it had to end like this.

I’ll also add here to build some excitement heading into the offseason that the Commish is open to discussing league settings and format alongside the Champion’s rightful duties of spearheading the new rules for next year.

A Matchup for the Ages

#2

Josh (13-4, 1st Pacific)

V

#4

Commish (10-7, 2nd Pacific)

Ok, now that we’re past all of that drama, we can refocus on the biggest weekend of our lovely little league’s year. A championship is on the line between two Pacific Division rivals and perennial contenders! The Great Elk takes on The Dark Wolf in their biggest rivalry matchup ever. The pride of their houses hangs in the balance of this game. The shimmering championship trophy is dancing in their vision. One last game to complete the mission. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE.

You know what? Despite the urge to be selfish, we’ll start with Josh. This has been by far his most impressive season to date since joining the league half a decade ago. The juiced TEs were a bit of a learning curve for all of us, but Joshy GM didn’t skip much of a beat. It didn’t take long for him to maximize those big boys and go on a scoring tear the likes have never been seen before. He led the league in points scored by a decent margin for the entire season scoring below 200 points only three times in seventeen games! That’s fucking absurd. This squad has been my favorite to win it all for a while now, and they keep proving why after scoring 226 PPG in the first two rounds. A convincing blowout against Jake in the first round was then followed by the signature win of Josh’s career in the semis. This is only the second championship game appearance in his franchise’s history, the first time since his rookie season. And, this might be the best shot yet for him to finally capture that elusive first title. I bet he’s already been thinking about where to display that newly branded hardware. I don’t blame him with a team like that.

BUT. The fearless humble Commish has something yet to say about that. This is his fourth championship game appearance in total, sporting an impressive 2-1 record in these games. A win would bring a third championship in the last six years to the Dark Wolf franchise, and the dynasty talks would be inevitable. The Commish really had some soul searching to do after a near last place finish and missing the playoffs entirely for this first time last season. That drove him to put together one of his most solid drafts in recent memory and assemble a roster filled with championship potential. After a disappointing 2-4 start to the season, the Commish went on a tear and finished the year on a 6-3 run including a huge victory over Josh a few short weeks ago. Two easy wins in the playoffs against bitter rivals Chris and the Krampus Man has him back on the doorstep of glory again. With Scott firmly and fairly out of the way, tying the record for championships by an owner is almost in his grasp. The Commish so badly wants to bring that trophy back to the homelands where it was birthed and given life. COME BACK TO ME.

So, who will it be??? Will Joshy GM finally break through and win the first championship in his storied career??? Or, will the Commish cement his legacy with a third championship??? This is where only the strongest owners can survive. A week 18 title game is no easy task with so many players injured or sitting. It’s time to embark on the true test of a master fantasy tactician and champion. LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

The Commish’s prediction: I so selfishly want to choose myself as I sit here dreaming about my beautiful trophy returning to me once again branded with my name. But, let’s be honest here. Josh is for sure the favorite, and it’s going to take a lot of luck for his team to be stopped. So, I’m going to make myself the underdog and give myself extra motivation by picking against me. I’m also just so happy that Scott is not part of this equation! HURRAH

A Fight to the Finish

The rest of you may not be vying for a championship this week, but you all still have one battle left to determine the final standings. Your final position can have consequences on how the draft order is decided, so make sure to set that lineup! And, if you have any semblance of pride left, you’ll suit up that team one last time and leave it all on the field. And, for those two owners in the last place game, lose and a punishment you shall receive!

This year’s last place game features #9 Laura who lost the last two games to stay at the bottom of the consolation ladder, and #5 Chris who dropped to the bottom of the ladder by being the lowest seed to lose last week in the consolation games. That’s why seeding matters so much in our playoffs! Lowest seed to lose each round is always at risk. And, it didn’t help Chris that #10 Nam scored an upset last week to leave him as the lowest seed to lose.

Here is the full list of placement games for this weekend:

3rd-4th: #6 Austin v #8 Scott

5th-6th: #3 Kyle v #10 Nam

7th-8th: #1 Jeremy v #7 Jake

9th-10th: #5 Chris v #9 Laura

As always, may the odds be ever in your favor…