The League of Ordinary Derelicts

2025

League Update

Week 2

What a start to the season, my lovely little league! Doesn’t it feel stupendous to be back in the throws of it all again??? The joys, the thrills, and, of course, the misery. This league is like an ever evolving organism, each year bringing new variables and new challenges. And, this season might be one of biggest challenges yet. Our devious three-time defending champ, Ol’ Scotty boy, decided right before the draft to absolutely JUICE the TE position and extend some love to an oft overlooked position. What a wild draft that was… This year has so much at stake and so many storylines I’m ready to explode guys! Like, burst all over this computer! Wait a minute, that didn’t come out right… Oh, well I already typed it. Moving along! Since we haven’t played enough games yet for me to accurately do power rankings, I’m going to instead take a dive into those said storylines surrounding this new Era of the League of Ordinary Derelicts.

The Quest 4 Immortality

UGH. This section sucks. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. This summer I had to unwillingly hand that beautiful new trophy courtesy of Trophy Smack (no we’re not sponsored, yet…) to this guy. It was so disgusting having to see his name etched three times in a row on such a piece of art. At least mine is also on it twice. Scott is on a quest so rare that it almost never happens in sports outside of maybe the UCONN women’s basketball team. Four championships in a row. The fact that it has been four long years since someone else was crowned champion is absurd and disturbing. I literally want to puke and cry at the same time. But, nonetheless, there is still hope. It will take a massive effort from all nine of us to take this beast down. But, together, if we use all of our combined fantasy skills, we might have a shot. Think of us like a Fellowship. The Fellowship of the League. I’m obviously Aragorn because he’s the King of Men and Jake the Wizard is Gandolf because, well, he’s a wizard. So, I guess that gives Scott the part of Sauron. Ooooooooo, juicy (Lord of the Rings references for anyone who is uncultured). Sorry, long tangent. Anyway! Congrats to Sauron, I mean Scott, on all your success, but now it’s time to perish!

Redemption Tour???

These poor souls have been so close that ultimate prize. After last season, Austin and Nam are now both 0-2 respectively in championship games. Nam has lost to Scott TWICE (most recently a few months ago) while Austin lost to Scott once and the good ol’ Commish once as well. Some folks out there are starting to wonder if there’s been a curse cast upon these franchises… Well, the thing about sports curses is they tend to eventually get broken, although sometimes that can take up to 100 years. Let’s hope for their sakes that this doesn’t turn into a full blown curse, otherwise known as being the Cleveland Browns. The easiest remedy to silence the haters is to go out and win it all this year. No pressure. With that said, I’m putting both these teams on an official CURSE ALERT. The rest is up to you, fellas. Prove the fantasy football gods wrong.

Sophomore Slumpers

I gotta give it up to these guys. Jeremy and Jake the Wizard had the two of the better rookie seasons in league history. Usually this league is a gauntlet for newcomers due to our unorthodox style of rules. But, that did not make these two flinch for a second. Ok, maybe they flinched a little bit, but not as much as usual. The Wizard really just complained a lot to be honest. Actually Jeremy was basically the complete opposite, acting in the shadows of the group chat as we all bickered away. Unfortunately, fate did catch up with them in the playoffs as neither of them got past the first round. Nonetheless, these two proved to be serious competitors in this wild west of fantasy football. The next challenge: avoid the dreaded sophomore slump.

The Usual Suspects

Here we have our regular season superheroes. These three make a living on success before the playoffs. Chris in the only one who’s made it to a championship game where he inevitably fell to a superior team (me). Even last year’s record setting regular season didn’t translate to anything beyond that. He did end up 3rd in the final standings, so I guess that’s something. Josh is an absolute guru of roster management, but the gauntlet of the 8 team playoff still befuddles him. The semi-final round was once again his final resting place. I’ve been told by sources that I must be careful of what I say about Laura, so I’ll just say this: This is the second season in which she has played pregnant and about to give birth, and that is an incredible feat. Men are weak. Anyway… Will this be the year that one of these perennial powerhouses finally break out of the proverbial womb of regular season dominance and enter into the light of playoff glory?

Was that too much?… Ah, who cares, you’re all heathens.

The OGs Search for Answers

The last two remaining founding franchises from the inaugural season of the League of Ordinary Derelicts in 2013. The 2024 year was rough on these two. It was the first time the Commish had ever missed the playoffs. Kyle is very used to missing the playoffs, so par for the course on that. But, difficult either way. Both of these owners have previously claimed championships (one for Kyle, TWO for the Commish), but oh how that seems like eons ago. Simpler times as they say. I don’t feel the need to dwell on their misfortunes, as their misfortunes seem to be punishment enough. But, beware, because these old dogs might learn a couple new tricks still.

All right my lovelies, we are officially back in the swing of the greatest season of the year! I look forward to all of the triumph and heartbreak that awaits. As always, may the odds be ever in your favor…

2024 Archives

League Updates:

Week 14

Week 15

Playoffs Round 1

Playoffs Semifinals

Championship

Power Rankings:

Week 4

Week 6

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Matchup Previews:

Week 8

Week 11